I stand in front of my window - as always.
I stand in front of my window, I look out and think.
Just as I knew
- I knew I would be standing right there and I would stand there,
trying to grasp what "just" happened.
I am home for a month now.
What do I think?
Debrief for Lulu: I sometimes don't know!
I DON'T KNOW !
I know the time happened - but right now, I don't know
what it did to me or what exactly I think about it.
WHAT I know is
that I need time!
I need time nobody seems to be able to give.
Normality is trying to catch me or already got a hold of me...
...When all I need is time!
I sit in front of my computer, my screensaver is on.
Pictures from the past seven months pass by,
mixed with pictures from the last 5 years of my life.
Shuffeled right in - archived, "processed", stamped and (seemingly) done.
I stand in front of my window, I look out and think.
Just as I knew
- I knew I would be standing right there and I would stand there,
trying to grasp what "just" happened.
I am home for a month now.
What do I think?
Debrief for Lulu: I sometimes don't know!
I DON'T KNOW !
I know the time happened - but right now, I don't know
what it did to me or what exactly I think about it.
WHAT I know is
that I need time!
I need time nobody seems to be able to give.
Normality is trying to catch me or already got a hold of me...
...When all I need is time!
I sit in front of my computer, my screensaver is on.
Pictures from the past seven months pass by,
mixed with pictures from the last 5 years of my life.
Shuffeled right in - archived, "processed", stamped and (seemingly) done.
Everything is back to normal - so it seems!
4 Kommentare:
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: [..] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
A Time for Everything.
I hope you will find a little bit TIME to stand in front of your window and just thinking: "Thank GOD for all the great TIMELIFEs in my life." :-)
Up and down and all around;
Down and up, back again.
Never a smooth or easy ride;
Life’s sudden emotions
Are a roller coaster ride.
Getting motion sick
From the ups and downs;
Birth and joy,
Death and distress,
Pleasure and pain
But no apparent gain.
Oh what a damn mess!
Hard to not lose hope
That the good and bad
Really do balance out
At the very end;
Just better to enjoy the joy
In the enjoyment you have
While it lingers and lasts,
Savoring every last moment,
Knowing very well
It won’t last forever,
But will return instead.
The joyful secret is always—
When?
Probably soon or maybe not.
Ok... this whole thing is in German... so I don't know if this is right. But....
My love, I am in the same boat as you. I have thought these thoughts and I still am. All I want to do is go back a couple months and stay there. I remember talking to you girls thinking about when I am at home, sitting on my bed wondering
What just happened??" I did that. I woke up in a room all by my self and just sat there and said "what just happened in my life??"
and now I have to figure out what to do with all that just happened as well as where to go next. So I know how you feel, and all the love that is here in Canada is being sent your way. I love you girl! I miss you so much and can't wait to see you soon. God is good. He has a plan and remember that this is YOUR life. No one else's and there is only God and yourself who ultimately need to be happy. So do what is best for you and when you can't breathe take it all to the Father, He knows what He is doing, and what you need.
Oh my sweet Lulu. I need time and I'm still "here." Take the time even when others can't give. Know you have "us" here who understand and press in to the relationships you have there. We are with you.
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